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From the desk of Miranda.

Starting IVF

So today, the process has begun.

I went to the Fertility Clinic and had to wait for nearly 1.5 hours to be seen.  I didn't even have to have bloodwork or any ultrasounds done today.  But I'm glad I was there so late because I was able to see my Fertility doctor, who seems to have the magic touch.  When she does procedures on me, it doesn't seem to hurt as much (mind you, it STILL hurts, just not as much).

So today, she did an Endometrial biopsy, which is supposed to be done on Day 6, 12, and 21.  Today is Day 7 for me.  I couldn't do it yesterday because I was away for the weekend.  I had no idea why she was doing it.  At first I thought it was because she wanted to check my uterine lining to see whether implantation is do-able.  But nope, she was doing it to stimulate the lining for the next cycle in order to increase the chances of implantation.

I found this little article: http://fertilityblog.fertilitystories.com/2006/05/endometrial-biopsy-implantation.html

I ain't gonna lie, it hurt like a bugger.  It was more of a cramping pain, but it was still pain.  I had to keep deep breathing throughout the process.  Luckily she kept trying to distract me.

She's going away the last two weeks of June to an conference in Rome (nice!) so she said that if we aren't able to do the IVF until she returns, at least she'll be up-to-date on any new develops and she can report back to me.  In which case, I may need to take the BCP to manipulate my cycle a little.

And since she was down there, I asked her to take a swab for STIs because I've heard that chlamydia can be genetic, which apparently is another reason that some people have fertility issues.  They probably don't think of it because no one will believe they themselves have an STI when they've been faithful.  You just never know!

I'm debating whether to start acupunture again.  I think I need to stress manage more though...maybe I'll have to figure out some good meditation techniques instead.  That's already stressing me out...hahahaha...

HAPPY INFERTILITY AWARENESS WEEK!!!

So...I'm spotting...

I've done 2 treatments of IUI already and so this time around we're going to move on to IVF.  I had a talk with my gynecologist and she actually said that in her experience, all her friends who have had endometriosis, were unable to get pregnant without IVF.  Obviously that sounded like more of a personal, rather than professional experience.

It's going to be a month of testing first and then the procedure will probably happen in June...so here it goes!

To Ashlee

Hi Ashlee,

I apologize for the delay in writing this to you.  I only saw your comment today on my blog regarding our Fertility Class.  I wanted to comment on your personal blog, but wasn't sure how public your situation was, so I thought I'd just write you a note on my blog to say "Thanks!"  It's nice to know I'm not the only one going a bit stir-crazy.  And I think being the "Cool Aunt" has a nice ring to it! :) 

After being stranded in the UK for an extra 5 days I told myself "no more exotic places! Just easy places from now on!" but I'm sure if I don't end up having children, I'll change my mind once again :).  I hope all is well with you.  Thanks again!

Abigail

Updates

So, yet another friend is pregnant.  I just keep wondering when it will be my turn.  I feel like I just can't focus on anything else.  It's getting to be a bit depressing.

I just got back from vacationing and I was one of the travellers who ended up being stranded overseas and travelled quite a distance to get home.  I'm home in one piece and more determined than ever to make a baby happen.  Whether its through adoption or IVF.

I started looking into adoption...nothing concrete...just a quick perusal to see what that world is like and stumbled upon a great blog:

http://www.filly.ca/life/relationships/friends_and_family/An_Adoption_Story.asp

One common thing is that it can take at least 15 months from starting the process of adoption to actually receiving your child.  I'll keep you posted as to the progress of this decision.

In the meantime, I'm actually taking Robitussin 3x a day (2 teaspoons) because I've been hearing so much about this method.  I missed the ability to go to the fertility clinic to start the IVF process this month because I was stuck overseas so I thought...why not just try Robitussin.  This probably won't work either since I was supposed to start it 5 days before ovulation and I started it at 2 days.  But, it doesn't hurt.

I know its been a while...

For my two followers...I thank you for following me :). 

I realize I haven't written in a while and its because the last IUI session had been yet again unsuccessful.  I was REALLY hopeful this time because everything looked so good...the timing of the IUI...my hubby's sperm...the number of eggs I had produced.  But when that darn red spot showed up...I was devastated.  This time, it hit me hard...I couldn't stop crying for two days.  I was so glad that it was the weekend so I could wallow and be left alone.

We're on vacation now, which is good because it let me just not think of reality for a second.  Just eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want, be as tough on my body (biking, walking for hours, sleep less) as I want....  So it's been good.  It's made me start to realize that adoption may not be a bad option.  I just didn't want to be a failure and I felt like adoption was a failure to my ability to conceive.  Especially when no one really knows what is going on with my body.  Endometriosis does have a lot to do with it, but it was taken care off, so shouldn't be a problem...so I've been told.

Being open to adopting, is the first big step.  So we're going to try one IVF session and if that is unsuccessful, I am going to at least look in to adopting.  All the meanwhile, we may try IVF two or three more times.  If at the end of the year there is still nothing, then we will probably start filing adoption papers.  Although this Robitussin method might be an option (??):  http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/robitussin-pregnancy-in-a-5-bottle-of-hope/article1529730/

But I wanted to share an snippet of an e-mail sent to me by my friend which just made me cry.  She told me that she was expecting only after having tried for a couple of months and I had congratulated her and here is her response:
"I just want to tell you that I think you are the most thoughtful, amazing person.  I know you are happy for me and John, but I also know that it's another reminder of the challenges you and Adam are facing.  And I want you to know how much I truly appreciate your kind words when I know that inside, you are struggling with things.  And I can't help to think about how unfair it is.  Even though I'm obviously so incredibly happy, I also wonder what I did to deserve this.  Why am I so lucky?  So anyway, thank you for being such a great friend!"

Month 3, Day 13 and 14

Day 13
I was told now I have 5 (from the 3 she told me the day before) eggs that may be put to good use, but in total it looked like I had about 8 follicles that were growing.  So I got the multiple births talk and the possibility that they may have to perform a reduction should all 5 eggs get fertilized.  They would probably reduce it to twins.  All I could think was...I just want one to take.  I'll worry about the rest later.

I got an HCG (10,000) shot to get the process of ovulation going.  Tomorrow will be our first IUI session.

Day 14
Bright and early!  Arrived to the clinic at 7am to begin the IUI process.  Hubby had to go into THE ROOM and produce some sperm for this baby to happen!  Then once we submitted it for washing, we had to wait for about an hour and 45 minutes.  We tried to pass the time by going to McDonald's...I brought my iPod Touch to watch my episodes of Gossip Girl...and my book.  There just doesn't seem to be enough things to do to keep me occupied!

Then the time came for the IUI.  I was a bit worried because the last time I had it done, I ended up having really bad lower back pains for a week that did not allow me to walk properly. I think it was just the shock from the pain.  So I was very candid with my fertility doctor and she re-assured me it would be fine.  And when she did it, it WAS fine!  She must have magic fingers because I swear to gosh it was like night and day from the last time.

So today she said because of all the follicles, my left ovary is bulging and I may feel really bad cramps today from the "eggs popping."  I was actually told to drink lots of Gatorade (1L per day) and saltier food items like V8, protein shakes, McDonald's, Chinese food.  WHAT???  I can't believe I'm actually TOLD to eat those things!  LOL.  She said its because of the fact I have so many follicles, I'm going to have a lot of water (I'm actually not sure where?  Hmmm...) but I guess she just wants my body to absorb more water right now because she said to try to avoid free water for now.  And my estrogen was high...so I'm basically screwed.

Just now I took a shower and my right nipple is enormous!!  And painful!!  My hormones must be wacky.

Thoughts
I just want one egg to take.  I'm crossing my fingers.

Me and hubby also had the possible abortion talk.  I know it may not be considered an abortion to some, but if all the eggs do fertilize and we have to perform the reduction via amniocentesis, it would be at week 11.  I really don't think I can handle having 5 kids, emotionally or physically.  But I guess we will take one step at a time.  I just hope one egg takes.  Please cross your fingers for me.